Blogging for LGBT Families

Making it in just under the deadline, here's Gus's moms' contribution to Blogging for LGBT families.

Gus has two moms. Like the book with a similar title about Heather, that sometimes causes a stir. Most often, however, people are just surprised and a little embarassed. Usually because they asked some question like "whose baby is he?" or "which one of you is the mom?" or "are you sisters?." Just for the record, if you are one of the people who has asked us or a family like ours this question, don't feel bad that you asked, but think about it next time. Families these days aren't just a mom and a dad- even in straight families there are all kinds of blends and mixes. Gus will probably attend a school where kids have more than one mom or dad because of step-parents, adoption, kids with single moms or dads, kids raised by no parents, and other amalgams I can't even think of right now. So assuming only one of us is his "real" mom doesn't make so much sense in such a world.

In fact, we're not that much different than any other family. We watch way too much television. Our child is the center of our universe and we think he is completely smarter, funnier, and cuter than any other child ever born. We sometimes get mad at each other when one of us borrows the other's car and don't fill it up with gas. We hate doing the dishes. We worry way too much about Gus's safety. We gossip about our neighbors and they gossip about us. We have concerns about childcare and about money. We love each other and can't imagine being a family with anyone else. We will miss Katie Couric. We buy too much food at the grocery store and never eat it all. We take bad pictures and think they are professional quality. We argue over whether or not to turn on the air conditioning. We sleep late on Saturdays. We go to church. Our home has been taken over by baby stuff. Although we doubt ourselves sometimes, we are good parents, our son has a good, nurturing home.

But yes, as bigots like to point out, we are different in some ways. Some ways don't matter all that much- we miss the show "Seventh Heaven," we have a milkman, and we only have one bathroom in our house. We own 4 carseats and have 2 cars. Who cares? But some of the differences are bigger: we don't get to be on each other's insurance (one of our employers does not provide domestic partner benefits). We don't get those tax benefits that married folks get. We have to spend money and time and worry to make sure we have all the paperwork in order to try to get the most protection for our family that we can get, and it's never the same as folks who are allowed to get married. We also only have and will only have children who are planned for, dreamed about, and wanted from before the moment they are conceived. We're together because we want to be, not because it's a pain to get divorced.

Despite these unique circumstances, what might surprise folks who don't know that much about LGBT families is that we aren't that different. In fact, we're really boring. Really, really boring. We're not substance abusers or promiscuous. Gus has plenty of male influence and role models in his life, both his legal family members and honorary ones. We're not hoping or trying to "make" Gus be gay. We don't hate men or dress up like them. We're as good as and pretty much the same as any other family out there. [JUMP TO FULL POST]

Hot in herre

Nothing like a mesh bag of ice on a hot summer teething day!

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Memorial Day

We flew home from Cornell on Memorial Day morning (and yes, my arms ARE tired...). We met up with Auntie Hillary and Auntie Emily, who were in town, and went to Uncle Mike & Uncle Dennis's house for a cookout. Aunt Cindy was there too, and Mr. & Mrs. Passarella. Quite a crowd, and I loved the attention.

Back at our house, Aunt Hillary stumbled upon my new favorite teething ring: orka silicone oven mitt, heat resistant up to 600 degrees, waterproof, even in boiling water, slip resistant, and apparently the best thing to chew on when you are developing new teeth. Must be because it is made in New Jersey.



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A BIG Red Weekend

I had quite an adventure this weekend...

I had my first plane ride (and I did quite well if I do say so myself)

I was stylin in my cool shades

I watched my Uncle Ross graduate from Cornell University- I was very proud of him!!!

and I had my first swim in a pool (considering it was in the 80s in Ithaca this was a nice treat)

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Off to Cornell

See you on Monday! [JUMP TO FULL POST]

Adoption

with Judge Pierson

Waiting to go in...

I love court!

Waiting our turn (glad I had the monkey keys to keep me busy)

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Portrait With Toys

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We're official

I have two legal moms! Yay!!! [JUMP TO FULL POST]

What a week so far...

I'm still smilin' but it has been quite the week. Here are some of the "highlights":

Mama and I got up early on Tuesday for my doctor's appointment, which was at 8:30 am. According to Mama, as Doctor Z told me a month ago, I needed an immunoglobin shot for Thailand. Tuesday was supposed to be my "travel visit" and I was supposed to get my shot. But apparently no one told Doctor C, who I saw. Instead, she made us wait half hour, came in to tell us that I would need an immunoglobin shot (i said, "duh, doctor C, we, like, totally know that already"). Then she said, we don't have it here, so here is a prescription. Your pharmacy will probably have to order it, and then come back for another appointment. So now I have to go back AGAIN next week, and then again 2 weeks later for my 6 month appt. JEEEZ! I think my Moms just love to pay co-pays or something.

There's this tooth thing going on, and I can't for the life of me find many good things to chew on except for fingers. No, I don't like the things you put in the freezer. Or the bumpy pretzel. Or the plastic keys. Or most of the other 1000 teething things my mama got me. The only thing I kind of like is the teething beads, but even that only satisfies me for a second. So instead I chew on fingers (mine and my moms), faces (mostly mama's), and paper. yes, paper. I have discovered the joy of crinkling magazine pages, ripping them out, wadding them up, and chewing them. (while my moms try to intervene before the chewing phase to keep me from choking. And it's not just magazines- when mama was carrying me, I snuck the Sears receipt out of her hand and when she took it back it was missing a chunk...

I got a nifty Frog Pod for the bath. It's this organizer/scoop/toy holder thing shaped like a frog. Guaranteed to stick to any surface (except silicone tile). So we followed the instructions for installation. Waited the requisite time. Attached the frog apparatus. Put on my bath accessories. Admired it's cuteness and its utilitarian nature. I got in the bath and it immediately fell down. Luckily, Mama didn't put my tub right under it.

We called to change our seats on the flight to Cornell this weekend. Apparently, it is difficult for the person in front to recline if I am going to be in a carseat. So to try to alleviate this problem and to avoid someone in front of me reclining in my lap, we wanted to change our seats so that Mommy and I sat together, and Mama sat in front of me. Originally we had seats so that Mama was across the aisle. So Mama called the customer service folks at UsAirways.
Mama: "I'd like to see if I can change my seat because [explains problem]
Customer service: Ma'am, the plane configuration is 2 on one side of the aisle and 2 on the other.
Mama: "Um. Yes. See, right now there is the baby, one adult and then the other adult across the aisle. I'd like to move myself so I am sitting in front of the baby instead of across the aisle."
Customer service: Okay. Hmm. okay. So you want [Mama] and [Mommy] sitting together, and then Gus in another row?"
Mama: "Um. No. He is an infant. 5 months old. Can't sit by himself. Will have a carseat. Instead of having one of us sit next to him and the other across the aisle, I wanted to find out if we could have one of us sit next to him and the other in front of him"
Customer service: Okay. Hmmm. You can't do that because the row in front of him is an exit row. Those are for premium frequent flyers. I can't assign that, but you can ask at the airport"
Mama: "Okay. All we care about is our configuration. We don't have to keep those seats or that row. Is that seating available anywhere on the plane?"
CS: "I can't do that. The plane is already occupied"
Mama: "You mean full?"
CS: "Yes. We only have 2 more seats we can assign. The rest are reserved for aiport control."
Mama: [thinking okay why not just tell me that at the beginning] Okay, thanks.

Mama then went to read about the policies for carseats on board UsAir. Turns out one of their policies is no carseats in or BEHIND the exit row. She calls back...

Mama: [explains first conversation, explains that she found this rule, explains that we've had reserved seats since Feb]
CS2: "Please hold"
[bad 80's music]
CS2: "Okay, I have confirmed that an infant cannot sit behind an exit row"
Mama: "Okay but what does that mean for our seats? Because we are assigned to the row behind the exit row. And we will not be leaving our infant behind. So what do we do? We need at least 2 seats together because he can't sit by himself"
CS2: "at least 25% of the seats are under aiport control. We only have 2 seats left that we can assign for our quota of 75% so I can't assign you new seats"
Mama: "Well if we move seats, that opens up 3 seats, plus the 2 other seats, so you have at least 5 seats to work with. Can you assign us 2 together and a 3rd elsewhere?"
CS2: "It doesnt work that way. Just show up on Sat and you will get your seat assignments. I will put a note in your record that you are traveling with an infant in a car seat so that you wont be assigned improper seats again"
Mama: "Thanks. But since I purchased an "Infant in Seat" fare, doesn't USAir already know I am traveling with an infant in a car seat?"
CS2:No Ma'am

Sigh.

In other news, we decided to purchase a Graco Comfort Sport carseat for use on the plane b/c the Britax is too heavy and may be too big for the airplane seat and we dont want to move them now that the installation has been police approved. We figured it was a good investment b/c I have 3 more plane trips this summer where I'll have a seat and need a carseat that fits on board the airplane...

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Bathtime

I'm so big now I sit in the "Infant/toddler" side instead of the "Newborn" side of my tub. I am actually enjoying baths now, and like to play with my bath toys. By "play," I mean chase them around the tub and try to grab them and eat them. Basically what I like to do with everything these days- chew chew chew. (have I mentioned the teething? I have? Okay, nevermind)


Fresh from the bath, and almost too long for my changing pad.

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Teething, part deux

Inside the mouth of this beautiful baby boy ...

is the smallest and most painful of teeth.

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Teeth!

"On average, the first tooth arrives sometime during the seventh month..." (What to Expect the First Year).

Apparently, no one told my teeth. The front bottom right poked its way through yesterday, and its next-door neighbor is not far behind. [JUMP TO FULL POST]

Happy 5 Month Birthday to Moi!!!

Today's my 5 month birthday! Woo hoo!!!

So here's what's going on with me these days:

I can *almost* sit up on my own.

I've got my own new play area for chillin' in the living room ...

including a real big stuffed dog from Ms. YooMi.


But even with all that excitement, I was a little pensive today and wouldn't smile for my 5 month photo. Even though my mama was making funny faces at me. And so was Uncle Mike. And Mommy. And Uncle Dennis.

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Prognosis Positive

So last night I decided that I needed a change of pace, needed to freak out my moms, and spend some time out of the house. So I started spitting up [alert- do not read on if you are sensitive to vomit-related information] streaks of brown stuff in my usually white, pretty normal baby spit-ups. Of course I did it after the ped's office was closed, so they sent me to the emergency room. It apparently wasn't bothering me at all, because I was laughing and giggling when the the triage nurse saw me, so of course I was triaged to the "not-at-all-urgent" category and it took forever to be seen. Uncle Mike and Uncle Dennis stopped by to keep us company, and we had a great time listening to all of the psychiatric cases in the ER. They took some blood, which I did not find fun, and then I got to hang out with a Hep lock (IV line) hanging out of my hand-- my favorite hand to suck on, nonetheless. The blood work was fine, they couldn't find anything wrong with me, so they sent me home and I headed back to the ped's this afternoon for another checkup. They can't figure it out, but don't think it looks like anything serious right now. So although it's been a hectic 24 hours, everything seems to be okay. Muchisimas gracias to Uncle Mike and Uncle Dennis, who stayed up way past their bedtime to make sure I was okay.

On the daycare end, we are thinking au pair . . . we have one more interview of a "daycare lady" on Friday, but it is looking more and more on the au pair side. Oh well, I'm going to go watch the Amazing Race because they are in Thailand, and I want to see what I'm in for next month... [JUMP TO FULL POST]

Congrats Uncle Scott!

This weekend Mama, Mommy and I went to the University of Pennsylvania for my Uncle Scott's graduation from Wharton. We are very proud of him!  [JUMP TO FULL POST]

Swinging Along

Last week my moms and Uncles Dennis & Mike took me to the park near my house for my first swing ride. I love this picture because it looks like I was going really fast (I wasn't, but it was getting dark and Uncle Dennis took this with his camera phone). [JUMP TO FULL POST]

A Bevy of Babies

Today Mama and I went to a gathering for some of the moms (and babies) that were part of my mommies' pregnancy support group. I had alot of fun and it was really neat to see all of the babies who are all so close to my age. Thanks to Ms. Anita for hosting us all at her beautiful home.

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Bath Fresh

Sorry for falling behind on the blogging folks- apparently my Mama isnt quite as prolific a ghostwriter as Mommy is. We've spent the last week + resting up from baptism weekend, buying new carseats, and on a frantic search for childcare. Yikes.

We cant afford a nanny, lack bathroom space for an aupair, and every daycare is full. We got some promising news from our top choice, only to have them say 2 weeks later "no chance" (until Dec). We're approaching panic time!! Our options appear to be:
- find home daycare mom (sounds easier than it is)
- have 1 mom quit job (not really financially feasible)
- sell house, move on campus, then have primary-bread-winning mom quit job (have to get rid of pets and garden, and she likes her job...)
- sell house, buy cheaper house with another bathroom, get au pair
- cry and scream (not exclusive of other options)

In more uplifting news, I have got a plush new ride. My moms used my baptism & leftover baby gift money to get the Boulevard by Britax. We get it officially inspected tomorrow, then i will be cruising in comfort with "true side impact protection."  [JUMP TO FULL POST]

I AM number 1!!!

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My doggie friend

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Rollin' With my Homies

Mid-Roll

After

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